Get A Room!
by Mako1
Summary: Someone's having a good old time and it's up to the Motor Pool to find out who...rating is for crude adult humor and language.


Author-chick's notes:  This is an idea I have had for AGES! Total 13 year old boys locker room humor, in other words if the movie "American Pie" was a bit off putting for you this might be too. (I personally thought it was just dull, but then eh…I grew up on Monty Python?) Rated R to be on the safe side for crude humor (this is me we're talking about here) and language (me again. ^^), not to mention situations... (*less then innocent whistle*)  Also, I have seen Glenda listed as a ton of things but I'm going by the "Action Force" file card I saw at one of the sites (can't recall which one) I'm going to use Glenda as Jane Mulligan Irish born chopper pilot.  Sorry if you lot prefer some of the other incarnations I've seen as well, I'm partial to the Irish one.  (**tosses back a Guinness**) =)

Nothing of this is mine except Marina (who I swear I'll get around to explaining eventually I promise!)

Get A Room!

She was mad, in fact, furious would have been a better way to describe how she was feeling.  This was the third and LAST time she was going to damn near break her neck thanks to the morons she worked with.  Curtain down? Nope, goody.  She placed a booted foot in the right spot to the doorframe, and stormed into the office.  She got a little bit of satisfaction watching coffee get spilled, she only hoped it hurt like a mother too, seeing as where it landed.

"What the god damn hell got yer panties in a twist?" Steeler bellowed as he frantically tried to cool off the area where his legs met the rest of his body.  "This had better be good, Princess, that's gonna leave a serious mark!"  He added as his desperate fanning efforts began to pay off and he didn't feel like curling into a tiny ball as much.

Cover Girl meanwhile didn't flinch she was livid. "When was your last date?" She asked, "With someone or alone?" She added to clear up any possible confusion.

Steeler's jaw nearly hit the floor when her words had sunk in, but he quickly recovered. "Two weeks.  What's it to you?" The Lieutenant replied, curious now as to what had set his subordinate off so much so that she had no qualms about damaging 'vital' organs.

"Hmmm?  So it couldn't have been you then." Cover Girl contemplated out loud.  Steeler still lost, and in considerable pain wasn't going to wait until she had figured out whatever it was she was trying to figure out.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He fumed.

"I just damn near slipped and killed myself getting into your Mauler to go over the comp systems like you asked!" Cover Girl snapped, before Steeler could ask her to specify she gladly did.  "Someone was in there just a short while before me and left a 'calling card' if you will.  Seeing as it was your tank I figured it was you!" 

Steeler was about to ask her to further specify when it dawned on him exactly what she was talking about.  Rubbing his brow with his right hand he asked to make sure. "It wasn't grease you slipped in was it?"  Her terse 'no' was all the answer he needed.  "Have a seat." He said pointing to her desk.  "I said Sit-down!" He repeated when he'd seen that she hadn't moved.  Cover Girl did as ordered, her face still holding it's dark scowl.  "I think I have an idea of what yer talking about." He said after taking a minute to calm down.  "It's happened to me too, once.  I figured to let it slide and only bring it up if it happened again."  Steeler continued.

"Well this is the THIRD time I've nearly slipped to my death no thanks to some horny bastard around here!" Cover Girl offered, still fuming.  "And if my math skills aren't to rusty that would make it FOUR times that it's been known to happen."

"Third? Jesus." Steeler stopped rubbing his brow and looked up at her in a mixture of horror and awe. "Third? Really?  I'm gonna skin the son of a bitch when I find them."

"I'm all for castration with a dull blunt object!" Cover Girl chirped in an exaggerated cheerful manner, getting some small pleasure out of the involuntary wince on Steeler's face.  "Well if it wasn't you then who could it had been?" She added her mindset getting back on track.  

"Let's get a few things straight here…" Steeler said to clear him of any and all charges she may have wanted to land him with.  "There's a reason for that note on the door." He said, pointing to the neatly written yet crude notice on the main office door.  "Secondly, I didn't shell out three months worth of pay for this desk just for the hell of it either." He said, tapping on the large mahogany desk that was his pride and joy. Judging from the look on her face, he couldn't be sure if she was about to start yelling at him for some reason so he continued.  "And! Unlike whoever is doing it, I clean up after myself!" He added.  This got a giggle out of Cover Girl who was trying to picture all the ways the handsome desk had been used for 'unauthorized' purposes.  "And before you start on me about carrying on in here, keep in mind I have Duke on one side of me, and Beach Head on the other, over at the barracks!  There's no way in hell I could get away with it in my own damn room!" Steeler continued.  "Not to mention that eunuch they have parked out in front of you girls dorm!  Can't bribe that bastard for nothing." He said, finishing his tirade.

"Okay, I get the point." She said between giggles.  "Sooo? What are you going to do about it then?" She asked, making sure that something was going to be done.  She waited while Steeler pondered how he was going to go about finding the guilty party or parties, the evil smirk blooming on his face gave her a small glimmer of hope that she was going to be involved.

"Wanna ring side seat to the proceedings?" Steeler asked, as he formulated his plan, no one was going to mess up his tank without paying.  A predatory smile and a slow 'uh huh' was just what he wanted to hear.  "Good. How's yer shorthand?" He asked as he began telling her what he had in mind.

After the two had the details down, and Steeler had changed into a coffee free pair of pants, checking to make sure no permanent damage was done, the plan was set in motion. "Clutch! Get yer fat ass in here! NOW!" Steeler's voice could be heard booming over the COM.

"Now what did y'all do?" Cross Country asked from his Havok, where he was replacing a blown out speaker on his less the legal sound system.

"Hell if I know." The grease monkey replied.

"Better hope he didn't find out about 'special' riggin' in the girl's locker room." Thunder added as Clutch walked past him in confusion.  Clutch's eyes bulged and he gulped audibly as he made his way up to the main office.

As he made his way up the stairs to the office, Clutch felt he could relate to any prisoner who had ever walked the 'Final March'.  If his commanding officer had found out about his scheme, he was sure he would be in for it.  Before stepping inside, he got his composure.  'Best not to look guilty' he thought as went in without knocking.  His newly regained confidence fled when he saw Steeler sitting upright for a change at his desk.  The look of pure feminine evil on Cover Girl's face didn't help him much either as he watched her toy with a racquetball.  'I'm a dead man', he thought as he waited for Steeler to let loose with whatever was coming.  "Uh yeah boss?" He asked, trying to remain cool.

"I'm gonna make this short and sweet." Steeler said.  "Y'see, Cover Girl and I have a problem…"

"That's what foreplay's for." Clutch said without thinking.  "OW!" He added as the racquetball Cover Girl had been playing with, bounced off his head.

Steeler's eyes narrowed as he continued. "Wrong problem, but it's along those lines.  When and WHERE was yer last date?" Steeler asked, not wanting to get as specific as Cover Girl had earlier just yet.  He was going to make this long as painful as possible his accomplice was all for it too as she caught the ball and began fiddling with it again.

Clutch looked confused but answered honestly. "That's what school's for." He said.  At Steeler's 'huh?' he continued.  "Down the road?" He said, jerking a thumb in the approximate direction of the local college.  Clutch could see his senior officer contemplating his answer over, but before he could speak…SHE asked the next question.

"How about alone with your porno mags?" Cover Girl asked.

"WHAT?" Clutch blurted out.  "I ain't that bad! Jesus!" He added, blushing profusely at the fact that she'd ask such a thing in the first place.  

Both Cover Girl and Steeler got some satisfaction out of the fact that she had gotten the rogue to blush so easily in the first place, but concluded that Clutch wasn't the guilty party.  "Okay, I guess it's safe to say you aren't the culprit." Steeler said to Clutch, who was gingerly rubbing his temple where the racquetball had hit him earlier.  "Yer dismissed.  But! Do not tell any of the others about this until I've had the chance to grill 'em." Steeler added.   Clutch mumbled 'okay' and left.  He was about halfway down the stairs when it dawned on him that his scheme hadn't been uncovered.  He slumped to the stair he was on and laid back, relief nearly knocking him out completely.

Meanwhile down in the main garage part of the building the others were watching Thunder closely.  The tanker had his keen ears trained towards the main office, hoping to catch a hint of anything going on.  "It's soundproofed, even you can't hear anything from there." Heavy Metal whispered.

"It ain't completely soundproof." Thunder said as he strained to hear anything. "The door is just standard issue." He added.

"So, have you heard anything then?" Cross Country asked quietly.

"Just Clutch…and a racquetball bouncing off of something…or someone." Thunder replied before jumping up and warning the others that someone was coming.  No one came but Steeler chose just then to bellow over the COM system again to summon the next victim.

"Thunder! Office now!"

"Uh oh. Yer gonna get it.  Clutch spilled." Cross Country said.  Thunder just laughed.

"The boss ain't got nuthin' on me.  I only know about the riggin' scheme, I ain't participated in it." Thunder drawled as he put his headphones back on and went towards the office.  About halfway up the stairs he could see Clutch laying there looking dazed.  "You alive?" Thunder asked, waving a hand in front of the mechanic's face to get a response.  All he got was incoherent mumbling.  Shrugging he continued on his way till he was in the office.  "Yeah boss?"

"Headphones off." Steeler said. "And I don't give a shit if you do make Superman look deaf!" He added before Thunder could protest.  Thunder shrugged and removed them and looked towards the desk, waiting for whatever Steeler was going to say.  "Last date? When and where?" Steeler asked when he knew he had Thunder's undivided attention.

"Huh?" Thunder asked, not expecting that to come out of his superior.  "Last month right before Janey…err Glenda had to go back to Ireland for re-deploy, why?" Thunder replied referring to the blonde RAF helicopter pilot he'd become rather smitten with.

"Been easing the parting with some Vaseline and Clutch's porno stash around here?" Cover Girl asked.  Thunder looked over to her and saw the ball she was still holding.  At least that explained why he had heard that bouncing off of something, presumably Clutch knowing her.  

Still perplexed he raised an eyebrow as he answered. "Hell I haven't gotten that desperate yet.  She's getting back next week." Thunder said before raising his eyes towards the ceiling and whispering almost desperately. "Thank you Jesus."  

Steeler looked over to Cover Girl who nodded. Figuring that Thunder was telling the truth, he let the tanker return to whatever he was doing and gave him orders not to tell anyone else until he had the chance to talk to them himself.

"Sure thing." Thunder drawled as he lit up a cigarette and left.  He found Clutch still laid out on the stairs in a daze and laughed. "Wuss." He teased as he made his way back to the garage.

Before anyone could ask him what was going on, the next suspect was called. "Get up here Cross Country." They heard Steeler say.  Cross Country gulped out loud as he got out of his Havok and made his way upstairs.  He passed Thunder, whose shoulders were shaking in barely contained laughter and thought better to ask anything.  Clutch was still on the stairs in a state of confusion, although he had managed to get into a sitting position since Thunder had passed him on the way down.  Cross Country didn't like his chances when he saw Clutch.  Unlike Thunder he'd helped set up the cameras in the women's locker room.  If Clutch had spilled the beans about it, Cross Country knew he wasn't going to go down alone.

Quickly crossing himself and praying, Cross Country entered the office.  Upon entering he spied Cover Girl, not a good sign he thought, hoping that his death would be quick and painless, as he waited for it.  'It' however was not what he got. 

"You been messing around in the tanks?" Steeler asked.  

"Huh? Messing around?"  Cross Country asked, his mind suddenly going into 'conspiracy' mode, as he tried to figure out who could be a saboteur among the Joes.  His thoughts were blown off track however when Steeler continued.

"Yeah bringing yer girlfriends in here for a little quickie." Steeler specified.

"Or jerking off when you can't get any?" Cover Girl added.

Cross Country nearly choked when he heard her but somehow managed to say 'no' after sputtering on the word a few times.  Cover Girl and Steeler concluded from his reaction that he was as innocent as the rest and sent him on his way, with the same orders not to tell anyone.  Cross Country got to where Clutch still sat dazed and slumped down behind him, resting his forehead on Clutch's shoulder, not knowing whether to weep or laugh.  He settled for the same state of incoherency that Clutch had adopted instead, grateful that the camera scheme hadn't been uncovered. 

That's how Crank Case found them when it was his turn for the inquisition.  Mumbling something about 'don't ask don't tell' he made his way into the office.   "Yo."

"I'm gonna make this quick." Steeler said.  "You been having it off in the tanks with yer girlfriend?" He asked, "Or alone?" He continued before Cover Girl could ask.  She playfully poked her tongue out him for robbing her of the pleasure.

Crank Case laughed at the pair of them before defending himself.  "There's a 5' 3" redheaded reason I live in town." He said jerking a thumb in the direction of town to emphasize his point.  "What makes you think I'd pull that here?" He continued.  However he figured it out before either Steeler or Cover Girl could answer him.  "Wait a sec?  Is this about someone whacking off in the vehicals?" Crank Case asked seriously.   At both of their responses, he continued.  "Yeah I damn near slipped and broke my neck getting into the SHARC for maintenance a while back.  I knew it wasn't one of the water rats, though because they were on deployment somewhere else."

"When was this?" Steeler asked.  Crank Case said something along the lines of a few months back and that it was the only time he'd known of it.  "That's the fifth known time then?" Steeler pondered out loud.

"Fifth? Damn someone's having a good old time.  Who else got surprised?" Crank Case asked.

"He did once." Cover Girl answered, pointing to Steeler who was getting even more intrigued as the questioning went on.  "And I just had slip number three about an hour ago.  That's why we're asking everyone individually." She finished.

"Hmm?" Crank Case thought.  "I've been trying to keep an eye out ever since but nothing else happened that I knew of, I didn't bother saying anything." He added.

"Okay.  Don't say anything to those I haven't gotten to yet, but we're gonna get to the bottom of this…one way or another." Steeler said as he dismissed Crank Case.

"This is getting ridiculous." Cover Girl said as Steeler ran a hand through his hair.  "Whose next?" She asked.

"Heavy Metal.  I'm just going down the list from most to least likely." Steeler said as he was about to call the driver in.

"Oooo! Wait!" Cover Girl grinned as she ran over to one of the filing cabinets, rummaging around she found what she was looking for.  "He's a pious Catholic boy." She explained as she set up a camcorder in an inconspicuous place to record what she was sure would be a priceless reaction from the man.

"I'm Catholic, what's that got to do with anything?" Steeler asked as he watched her set everything up.

"I said 'pious', something you aren't." She teased.  Steeler snorted as he waited for her to finish.  "He's got almost as good a chance as Life Line for sainthood." She said as she finished setting up the camera.

Steeler raised an eyebrow. "Actually he has a better chance then Life Line.  Life Line's Lutheran." 

"Whatever." Cover Girl dismissed.  "Jesus was Jewish." She continued, before giving Steeler the all clear to call in the next one.

Heavy Metal had only seen Thunder come back, not the other three.  And Thunder had been no help seeing as he was laughing to hard to say anything.  He shrugged it off, or was about to when he heard his summons.  "Good Luck." Thunder got out between fits of laughter.  Heavy Metal got to the office, having passed Clutch and Cross Country sharing what looked to be too comfortable a moment for his tastes.  He made a mental note to get soap on a rope just in case.  "Yes?"

Cover Girl had gotten one over Steeler so she could be the one to ask this time.  Perfect too, seeing as he would be facing the camera she had just set up.  "Now keep in mind, I'm being dead serious here…" Cover Girl started.  "Have you ever gotten any here on base? Either with someone or alone?"  At Heavy Metal's questioning look, she explained what 'any' referred to.  The rush of blood to his cheeks was so intense he felt faint, but got out a small 'no'.  To prove she wasn't teasing him, she explained why the questioning was going on.  That's when he fainted dead away.

"Well that went over well." Steeler said as he moved over to the passed out driver to lay him down on a cot in the back of the office.  Crank Case stepped out of the rest room near the cot just as Steeler was laying out Heavy Metal.

"You let her do the talking didn't you?" He asked, pointing to Cover Girl as he watched Heavy Metal get tucked in.

"She blackmailed me." Was all Steeler would say.

Crank Case pondered the situation for a second before turning to Cover Girl.  "You get it on tape?" He asked.

"I'm checking it right now." She said as she hunched over the desk to get a better look through the tiny viewer.  "Oh yeah! From near fatal blush to dead faint!"  Cover Girl sat up and Crank Case saw the small camera she was holding.  "Got it!" She added with a huge grin.

"That's cold girl." 

"It is, but I have a bet going and this tape is my jackpot." She explained.

"What bet?" Both men asked.

"A bet us girls have." Cover Girl answered.  "Oh come on! It's not that bad!  We're just curious which one is more embarrassment prone is all."  She added.

"I'd ask for more dirt but I'll regret it, I know I will." Steeler said.  "Well that leaves one last person who's been here all day." Steeler said to no one really as he went over to call up the last suspect.

Tollbooth wondered what Steeler would want with him as he made his way to the office.  He'd been in his studio so he'd missed the whole fiasco from the garage.  "What's …up?" He said, taking in the office and wondering just what the hell had gone on while he was lost in engineer la-la land.  

"We have some pervert around here and we're trying to figure out who it is?" Steeler said.  

Tollbooth's eyes narrowed and he jerked a thumb in the direction of the stairs where he'd seen Clutch and Cross Country seated, both looking out of it.  "Is this about some supposed camera scheme those two morons have going?"  Cover Girl's head shot up at that.

"Which two morons?" She asked she knew exactly what the engineer was talking about.

"The oil slick and the hick." Tollbooth answered.  Cover Girl's eyes narrowed and her grin was almost demonic as she absorbed the information in.  Steeler was completely lost.

"Okay, I know what I called you in here for, and that ain't it." He said wondering what was going on now.

Tollbooth was about to explain when Cover Girl gladly took over for him.  "Someone set up a few cameras in our locker room showers.  We couldn't figure out who it was, but we have an oceanographer who gladly did a little fine-tuning with the showerheads.  Sooo, all the camera sees is a lot of steam.  It would be like trying to watch a porno on a scrambled signal." Steeler, Crank Case, and Tollbooth stared at her slack jawed as she continued.  "And now thanks to Tollbooth we know who it is." She grinned maliciously.  "They are so going to die!" She laughed as she thought of how she'd let the rest of the women on the team know who their guilty parties were.

Steeler shook his head incredulously as he took in all he had just heard.  "Now if I got all that… Those two soon to be dead bastards set up a camera rig in the women's showers?" At Cover Girl's nod, he continued.  "One of yins found them?" 

"Jinx spotted them in no time flat." Cover offered.  "So we're fairly confident that they didn't catch a single thing." She added, smiling sweetly.

"Okay.  Jinx found the cameras, then Marina played around a bit with the shower heads, and all they see is steam?" Steeler continued.  

"Yup."  Cover Girl chirped.

"I'd offer to take care of the pair of them, but I have a real nasty feeling whatever I have planned, pales in comparison to what yins are gonna do to 'em, right?"  Steeler said, letting her know he was all for punishing the two himself, secretly for not letting him on the deal, not that he'd ever admit it to anyone.

"Oh we have a fate worse then death planned for them." Cover Girl grinned.  At the raised eyebrows she got, "We have a Scarlet." She said.

"Jesus, they're dead."

"That's cold."

"Yer soul-less, you know that right?" Steeler said.  Cover Girl just smiled and nodded her head yes. 

There was silence in the room for a few moments before Tollbooth spoke up.  "Um, what did you want me for Steeler?"  Steeler looked confused for a moment before recalling why he had called the engineer in, in the first place.

"Oh yeah.  You ever brought the Mrs. in here for a tryst?" Steeler asked referring to Tollbooth's wife.  Tollbooth's eyes shot open at the question but he answered honestly.  

"I have a king sized bed at home for that, why would I want to bring her here?" He said. Now completely perplexed.

Steeler sighed.  "Hold that thought, let me get the others in here to explain it to all of you."  Before he summoned Thunder, Clutch and Cross Country he pointed to Cover Girl. "And no one say shit about whatever those two deadbeats did."

"Yes please.  We want to kill them on our own without them knowing a thing." Cover Girl added.  Tollbooth laughed and swore not to tell a soul.  Crank Case also promised to keep quiet as long as he got a tape of their demise.  "Oh god we're planning on making a ton of copies!  I'll give you yours free! All of you!" She cheered.

"All settled?" Steeler asked finger poised on the COM switch.  At everyone's nod he called the missing Joes to his office.  Once everyone was assembled, and Heavy Metal had been roused from his fainting spell, Steeler set about explaining things.  "Okay yins were all asked the same questions, here's why…"

When he was done, Steeler asked another question.  "Now does anyone have any idea who it could be?" Thunder brought up the fact that just about everyone on base came into the Motor Pool at some point or other on a daily basis.  "Well then? Any ideas on how to catch whoever IS responsible?" He asked.

"What about the surveillance cameras?" Tollbooth asked.

"No good I tried that already but they pan all over the place and none of them have been able to catch anything." Cover Girl said.

"So much fer fucking technology." Thunder cursed.  

Everyone sat around pondering what could be done about the situation, when a slow smirk spread on Steeler's face.  "Gimme yer boot." He asked Cover Girl.  "The one you slid in."  He specified.  She figured out what he had in mind and grinned as she handed over her boot.

A few days later Life Line headed over to the Motor Pool with a large envelope Doc had wanted him to give to Steeler.  As he passed the women's dorm he heard Cover Girl calling out to Clutch and Cross Country, who were on their sixth smoke break the medic figured.  "Hey boys?  We're having a problem with our second floor power.  Can you come and help me figure out what the hell's going on?" Life Line laughed at the enthusiasm both showed and the eagerness to help a group of damsels in distress.

Making his way to the office he entered, having read the note just before knocking.  "Doc said you wanted this?" Life Line said to Steeler who bolted up from his desk.  The blonde lieutenant snatched the envelope out of the medic's hand and opened it.  "Do I want to know?" Life Line asked when he saw a medical film drop out of it.  Steeler explained about the problem the Motor Pool had been having with a rather randy member of the team and the film was their proof as to who had done the deed.  "You're kidding?"

"Nope." Steeler said searching the envelope for anything else that might have been it.

"Oh good lord!" Life Line couldn't believe it.

"Where's the note saying who this is?" Steeler said, holding up the film with a bunch of small dashes on it.  "I can't read one of these things." Steeler said, starting to sound frustrated.

"I can." Life Line offered, holding his hand out to take the film.  A few moments and murmurs later Life Line told Steeler whom the DNA profile belonged to.

"Are you sure?" Steeler asked.  He wanted to be absolutely sure before he set part two of his plan in action.

"I don't have all the details of everyone's DNA profiles memorized.  I do however have everyone's key genetic markers down pat.  I'm positive as to who this belongs to." Life Line explained.  "I'll even take you to the Infirmary and hold it to the known sample if you like if you don't believe me." Life Line offered.

Steeler's smirk was almost predatory, Life Line couldn't blame him really but he felt sorry for the owner of the DNA.  "Nope. I got yer point.  Thanks!"  Steeler said as he began rummaging through his desk.

Life Line shrugged and left the office.  As he was heading back to the Infirmary he heard two terrified male screams.  As he zeroed in on the sources of the sound, he saw a very battered Clutch and Cross Country running for their lives from the women's dorm.

"Save us!" Clutch said as he and Cross Country cowered behind the medic.

"They're gonna kill us!" Cross Country added.  

Life Line looked back towards the dorm just as most of its residents were coming towards him.  "What's going on now?" He asked Scarlet as she stalked her prey.

"Those two jerks thought they could get some cameras set up in our showers and get free porn." Lady Jaye said as Marina came out, holding three demolished video cameras.

"Here's the proof." The oceanographer smirked, dropping the cameras to the ground.

Life Line peered behind him at the two cowering men who were trying to explain that it was all a joke.  Shaking his head Life Line turned back to the angry women.  "I can't believe I'm going to do this but…" He smiled.  Taking his glasses off and closing his eyes, "…See no evil." He preached as he stepped out of harms way.  Both Clutch and Cross Country screamed as they tried in vain to run away, most of the women hot on their tails promising death in many forms.  

"Thanks Life Line." Cover Girl laughed as she came forward holding a working video camera.  Jinx was with her and jumped up to hug and kiss the medic.

"Yeah thanks!" Jinx said as she dashed off after the others.  

Life Line laughed and put his glasses back on.  "Yeah sure, no problem." He waved to Cover and proceeded to leave.

"Hold it!"  Life Line stopped and turned back to Cover Girl.

"Hmm?" 

"Nothing." Cover Girl winked from behind the video camera.

Life Line shook his head and went back to the infirmary.  Cover Girl later showed the video to the rest of the girls who all ended up having to pay out to her for loosing the bet.  They were sure Life Line was the most easy to embarrass, yet she had the proof and had won hands down.

Later that evening in another room, a very tired individual turned on the lights.  "Four pranks.  A damaged weapons cache.  And two near dead bodies in the Infirmary.  And no COBRA attack."  The man sighed as he went to sit on his bed.  His hand hit something and he looked down, only to find a box of baby wipes with a note.

"Dear Sir.

These are for yer next 'get together' with yer hand.  If we ever catch you jacking off in our Motor Pool again, we're gonna let the ENTIRE base know!

Sincerely the pissed as hell Motor Pool."

General Hawk's jaw dropped, they'd caught him.

The End


End file.
